still chubbin on

back from the dead

2005-06-13T20:49:00.000+08:00

well its been ages, i noe... bloggin now due to someone (yes you) egging me to post new stuff.
so like its all rainbow and cloudy days, birds singin an picnic dates. things are relatively good, save for the occasional little flashes of lightnin and what not... he has been nice, tolerant, pretty sweet, and not to mention displays alot of concern and care for me. really nothin to be sad about now... and its nice to finally feel like that. no more upsetting moments. however, jus like i cannot say its always been so nice, i canot swear by happily ever after. jus that its been pretty good. cant ask for more really.
im really not a whizz at mushy stuff so in a nutshell......
thanks for all ur patience an care,understanding and affection. so mr. G, i hope ur happy as well, and im glad i have you. you are important to me too, and i am happy as you are now. i hope ur always well and think u're one of the best things to happen to me.
]:(=) * o<:3 )~

cruisin on

2005-02-26T23:25:00.000+08:00

well well, im on a ride for the 1st time in my life...(was gettin dusty on the shelf la. ) so im like nowhere anyway in the driver seat, but can only be contented to jus be in the passenger seat. at first it was really tirin to feel jus like nothin, worthless and jus a passin fling. to be somethin of no importance or of second best really feels terrible. like the person tells u verbally of their devotion to u, yet in action chooses to hurt u rather than hurt the other wen someone has to be hurt.

i really think it pays to be a bonafide bitch. someone who jus cries an wants it their own way. all they have to do is appear as a gentle vunerable girl, an its done. somehow it always works. so easy rite? jus appear soft an easy to cry can liao. but den canot la. i wun cheapen myself to act like dat. my hurt i will carry deep, my pain no one will see. i will trudge thru life like its over oredy, but feel the truth of my heart shatterin. call it pride, ego or watever, its jus cheap to entertain all the shit that come ur way with lame msgs an watever nought.

well jus recently i was finally deemed "worthy" enough to be brought to existence. feels nice. though again time will tell. i really dun care anymore la. whether the decision or action will prove to be of substance i am not gonna fret over it anymore. afterall, if i dun bother an the other party can do watever he wans, den i shouldn't bother if he is gona bastard me rite... (heck it oredy.) an yea i cant be bothered about the other person too. the person has proven to be unworthy in my books, an seriously seems to jus think what she wans is only rite an expect it to rightfully be. (up urs la, im also a person k.) an if dat certn someone wans to choose to jus be nice for hypocritical heroistic sake, or underground entertain such stupid shit with watever lame means or reason, den fuck off too. so i cant be bothered but to jus let things be an go along for the ride. i ask for nothin, hope for none. simplicity is all i want. yet it seems i am seen to be unreasonably asking for more an more. k den. i have decided to exercise abandonment. afterall why should i make things bad for the sake of someone i dun think is even near worthy, someone who jus sits on her fat arse an wails. i still sincerely hope she would be good, but enough is enough. its finally boiled over. (oh.. yea.. an if someone who reads this feels pain or unfairness for that someone im tokin abt cos of ur feelins for her, den jus shut up an fuck off again. go be a wuss who jus wans to be mr. nice guy, an choose to hurt me instead of her.) i am a person with feelings even if i will hold my head high an carry on. dun think i can be sacrificed for the other jus becos i wun cheapen myself to act like a silly bitch.

still i do appreciate the effort even though it will prove more with time. i hope u are truthfull, an admit its gettin better, (esp wen i go back to not thinkin an livin for the moment again.) im experiencin happiness (somesort) now. i do feel for whatever i have now. its scary cos im startin to fall deeper now. so pls dun let me fall.

gong xis an dong chengs

2005-02-08T23:03:00.000+08:00

well well... its the eve of chinese new year, and i've just gorged myself silly after my family's reunion dinner. i feel like a perpetually bloated puffer fish.
like finally chinese new year is here. for weeks before, shopping centres, and other public places seemed to have been taken over by some over-zealouse oriental chinky martian. i mean there is only so much blastin "dong cheng dong chengs" and bright red decor a person can take. (it really spoils the mood wen ur in the toilet trytin ur best to do ur business, an wat ur hearin is blarin "gong xi, gong xxxxiiiiiiii....." over ur head.) not to mention have u heard the new not so funky chinese new year songs? they are hybrids with cristmas carols. like wat the hell... carolly new year songs?? wierd an jus tacky. i mean wats nex, the god of fortune and santa clause are gonna get together over mahjong and milk and cookies?? wats more the place of my residence looks precariously like a chicken house (if u catch my drift..) with the over abundance of red lanterns and banners. its bad enuff the name sounds oredy like a brothel or dim sum house. haiz...
well puttin dat aside, dis hols is great to catch up with relatives, (i.e find out who is fightin with who, an see whose dress sense really has not improved over the 1 year.) of course its great to see the sincere relatives whom i luv to bits. it almost makes the yearly dwindling ang pows seem not to matter. well almost only... (heh! just kiddin) dis is really jus a great time to eat more tidbits, peel more oranges an gamble away for the fun. its really one of the few holidays dat is still able to gather the family together. (or at least i hope) despite the farcialness of family gatherins which i hate, it does stand that sometimes a little is better than nothin.
with that bein said, i wud like to wish all a merry chinese new year with abundance of health an happiness to follow. 2days been pretty slow an jus well *yawn*. mebe tonite in my dreams, i might join the god of fortune and santa for mahjong over milk and cookies.(4th player anyone??)

whirlwind

2005-01-23T11:48:00.000+08:00

well okay... sorry bout my bouts of laziness here.
the past 2 weeks has been somewhat of a whirlwind. with skool an everythin else that has been happenin. nothin bad really... jus well... its like "wat the hell jus hit me!"
so tactiq had a camp last week, an as usual i was unable to go cos skool was too tight. (not to me though, but to my parents). felt really sad an bad i could not go. but i wen to stay for 1 nite durin campfire at jbac. :)
so like ya. also got a break out from sleepin on the mph floor i think. but its okay...(freddy kreuger has a sister now). i oso got to sit in and stick my ugly leg in their debriefin. seems its now more like a classroom style. bosses toked bout "intimacy" as part of some "stormin" thing, an we all had to write about who we are intimate to an what we wanted to be. abit cheem lah but jus hantum only. so ya.
skool has been a bitch. everyday there is class an homework. not to mention i am drownin in assignments as well. but well got to do it means got to do it. sienz....
anyhows things have been goin like i dun noe how la... donoe how to say or wat. thank god i have at least addie (she's a doll) to bitch with. things that have been goin seem nice but there is a naggin question mark on whether is it really right or not. donoe la ah... i dun wan to noe oso la. come what may an whatever whatever lah....

H2O

2004-12-22T23:41:00.000+08:00

yest the guys (addie, her nephew leon, shammie, manzur, an gary) came over to my place for a swim. it was another impromtu outin which wen ay okay...
was slackin an out of the blue wen to cut my hair... manzur says i look like an auntie now, an yea it does look like a wig... so well... it'll grow back soon. (at least my mum wun say i look like a golden retriever anymore....)
anyhows met up with gary 1st an we thought we were super late so took a cab to supposedly meet shammie who does not have a handphone now... but he oredy left, so we ended up piahing down to my place in the cab,... only to meet..... nobody!! but we din wait long cos wen i wen to get my doggy 4 a walk, shammie was already there. my doggy kept lookin an wavin to sham who was hungin the bus stop pole the whole time. an as usual, addie an manzur were fightin along the way while walkin to my place. (from a distance they actually looked conjoined.)
as gary had no shorts (somebody kept sayin he no mood to swim, will not get down, an blah... blah... blah...), i wen upstairs to kapok one of my dad's shorts. ended up makin a second trip up as i took my dad's boxers down instead...
so anyhows we proceeded to get wet. addie's nephew was so cute.. he toked to everyone. (very sociable, not shy wan.) had a funky do as well... anyway the wind an water was like so damn cold lor...we were all shiverin an squirmin around an shammie was chatterin so hard, he looked like his face was frozen. an as usual again, addie an manzur were fightin in the water... (we were all too cold to move over...)
tried a few stunts in the water mostly with leon, an later it was wrestlin.... got pinched like hell.... was not strong enough to inflict any damage myself, an manzur ended up with a ruldolph the red nose reindeer worthy nose. my tag team partner was leon, an boy was he fierce as well... we oso played an old child hood game, the mother hen an eagle thingy. sham was the schemin eagle, an manzur was our protective mother hen.. we were playin till an old bitch came out to tell us to pipe down... knn.... we left for the hot tub later an soaked there to warm ourselves b4 gettin out.... the guys as usual took soooo long. addie an i bathed, changed wen for a walk, an they haven even bathed yet.... apparently there were steam bathin as well. vain toads.....
well saliza joined us after, an everyone walked out to send leon back. so sad sia he kept sayin he wan to follow us. he looked so sad wen he was told he could not. but we made a promise say nex time sure bring him out wan. cant wait to see him again.
as usual i had to gan home again... but it was a miscommunication thingy lah..so lah de dah....

thanx guys

2004-12-15T21:04:00.000+08:00

life a journey
of no turning back
seconds and days, no time for regret
living as a shell, farcial existence of men
there are times life just seems too worthless to care.

thanks to those who msged when they felt right,
little thoughts of rememberance,
they made flight.
the song of the night that startled me in fright,
it sure did make my night.
tokens of girlish sweetness an painful care,
thank you for the marks of brotherhood, oh yes sirs.
the meals that filled my stomach till the throat,
sweet gas an hellooo toilet soon followed.
but the treats were good , thank you all so,
contented spirit over my burnin asshole.
so all in all i am thankful to say,
frens u all sure made my day.

life's fool

2004-12-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

blanket of shroud
cloud of mist
fog of the night
blinded
by hope of you
two-faced
a cheat of nature
abandoned to rot
to the cold of neglect
a nobody god created
to the fooling and amusement of men
existence to only the gift of life
obligated to 9 months of debt
my grave the real womb
at last the warmth of decay
back to nothing this nobody deserves
relinquishment of life
the tirement of will
no need for final goodbyes
never mattered
of no importance
empty existence
time of no matter
just a testiment of being
born to live and just to die
eyes opened up now to farcial existence and realities of life
closed once more to the bliss of abandonment

time

2004-12-08T23:20:00.000+08:00

time freezes, pauses
neither waits nor proceeds for no man no how.
be it happy, sad or nonchalant,
time waits for no one

well its been a uppity an downy 1 and a half weeks. me mum an sis an godparents were to leave for aussie on sun. sad oredy lah b4 dat... yet the days b4 leavin, my mum had to seriously get on my nerves... like wat the hell man? i din do anythin....
nvm... sat the bfdm(s) had our own zouk out... an b4 goin out i kena an earful oredy.... (appologies to the bfdm(s) for my bitchified disposition at Giant.) an at sembawang park i called to jus say hihi... an i kena big time again.... fuck man my mood totally spoil.... watever works lah...
k the gatherin was pretty alrite... had games, ample food an everythin was organised. except for the damn ants an mozzies who seriously justify genocide, the little corner we had was perfect. hmmm... rite now my memory is failin, so ya dats it generally. great time lah.
after, ad gary an i wen to my place to swim an get clean. did kinda dread gettin home, so i felt shitty again. but ya lah watever comes.
well me mum left, an im left with my dog who is seriously with the blues. my dad is... fine lah. sien sia....
anyhows addie is havin a rough time now, with her nenek an aunt stimultaneously admitted to hospital. so kinda feal the heart sourness for her lah. nothin much i could do, so jus wen down to see her an her nenek. (well ur nenek is our nenek as well....) gary an manzur oso wen down as well. thank god for manzur, cos only he the minister mentor is able to force feed addie. so ya... dat about sums up watever for the week thereabout.

existence

2004-11-30T23:47:00.000+08:00

paper cut across the neck
frozen flowers
dull dreams
broken faith
put to this soil to hurt and be hurt
turn back and feel regret
step foreward to be guilty
fragile existence
discarded from feelings
flesh and bone of no matter
shrouded silver lining
trash
waste
bane of life
angels wings shun
sin of birth
cursed to rejection
shredded will
snowy heart
painful existence
expired will
putrid breath of life
stormy future
bleak
pointless
to rot for my only benefit.

shagedelic

2004-11-26T23:24:00.000+08:00

wah piangs oei... dis week ah.... damn shag man.
i was like blur about my skool timetable, an my original 1 or 2 day skool week (or so i thought.... ) became a 4 day skool week. it would not have been so bad, but i spent my nites out late an on msn. everynite i only slept at max 3 hours plus. its like panda city,..... here i come....
furthermore the week b4 was almost as bad, with skool, work an outins.
anyhows thanx to ad, who jolted me out of my beauty 3 hour plus sleep on tues. was chattin with gary till late, cos i thought no skool. thanx 4 waitin for me to piah down babe.
well the day b4 the bfdms met at cck. cartoon sia. we took a couple of pictures an ate at the kopitiam b4 a round of games as usual. mood was jus 4 slackin lah. but i got half an earful home man. (wat to do.... wat to do.....)
and yest some of the bfdms met up, impromtu at wheelock (again).... was more low key lah, cos we all had to go home 4 dinner. (mama was cookin.) as usual, the games were the same but we all ended up goin home with red marker stains on our arm. (thanx ppl, for the enormous chili tattoo an the drawin of a fish dat looked more like free willy...)
even after we got home, we met up on msn. but we all left one by one lah. really tok cock sia. but i got disconnected prematurely. so sienz man the damn com, but could oso zzzz.... lah.
tomoro we will be seein each other again (pangs... really becomin like extended family sia...) in the dammit shit mornin. haiz.... tired sia. gonna go koon an zzzz now loh.

up an at em...

2004-11-21T19:11:00.000+08:00

hey hey i finally decided to get up off my flat arse to blog...(not forgettin with the helpful nudge frem a certain fren... so thanx ad.)
anyways for the record a group of us met for like 3 days in a week thereabout to lepak. an boy was it jus goddamn funny.
for the 1st day, we jus hung out at coffee bean wheelock at nite. an it was really slack mood, nothin strenuos, jus some heavy duty tokin an ponderin bout some stuff regardin a fren. anyway there were the laughs as usual aside, an we kept sidetrackin bout decidin where to eat. (finally settled on bk.)anyhows we saw taufiq from idol an i donoe what groupie fever came over us, but we jus decided to shout "go taufiq!!!" luckily he not sombong an waved back.(if not paiseh sia....) oh yeah i almost 4got... to set an incident straight, the thingy dat happened on our way to the mrt was an accident. IT HAS NOTHIN TO DO WITH MY FEET. jus bad luck. (are u readin this addie??) i mean yeah it happened like twice, but u noe like shit happens an anybody could have broken his or her sandals anywhere. it jus had to happen to me twice at orchard. (dats all wat.) STILL..... i would like to thank addie, raddie an andi (hey it rhymes !) for accompanyin me to go barefoot from orchard mrt to the north. it was embarrasin esp walkin into the train an everyone was starin. so thanx frens.
k so like onto the 2nd day, i was like an xtra goin to the bosses house. cos i din have any business there. but thank goodness oso i had gone up, cos we spent awhile there. (but not too long lah. it would have been long if i was alone.) anyway fast forward, we later wen to cck's pizzahut to makan. hectic man!! poor desmond had his pizza disfigured by yan an andi, who both got carried away with the damn shakers. (bloody shake an shake so hard...) anyhows after dinner, we wen to lepak at where else, coffeebean at cck. had a mad round of games an more inane chatter. we actually laughed till we were tired, an wen ah-mon asked if we were again meetin the nex day, we all gave him a horrified look. (like hello?? rest anyone?) oh yeah fast backward, we actually pakat to wear floral shorts an almost everyone did comply. (though addie's one was leaves.)(kinda disturbin dat at some point everyone had an wore floral shorts.)gary' shorts were like red man.. so he is now the unofficial chong. by the end of the 2nd day, it was begginin to look seriously like some bondage thingy. but wat the hell... its all for the laughs only.
well just yest we met up again to go manzur an feroz's house. they both invited us for hari raya. ad an i came from work. an i had to oso wear a punjabi suit. wen i tried to whine, addie did the "bastard frens" thingy again. (i really gota quickly find a counter attack man...) but it was cool. yan looked like he was goin for some engagement (white prince horse). we ate sooo much at manzur's an the food was good. we even couldnt resist some games. (terrible man...) at feroz's, we jus sat around an snacked. his cat was SSSOOOO LOVABLE, a little black fluffy thing. oh an wen manzur came we ate again. couldn't resist the food as well. den after as uaual, we wen down to meet raddie at wheelocks bk (again). we actually kapok a glass courtesy of raddi's colleague. gary wanted it, but gary broke it as well. as usual again we laughed at everythin possible an even had a topic brought up concernin relationships. (like seriously guys...) time really flew dis time an we all left after 2 hours. but not b4 a foggin game. man!!... all i can say after the foggin pasang game, we were all awake an super thirsty. but the ride back was hell. (thanx bus uncle of NR 1. u can soon fulfill ur F1 dreams.) anyhows its kiv for the nex bondage session. so we will see.....

mussings...

2004-11-19T15:43:00.000+08:00

truth be told of conscience and integrity
human nature reflects in all thee
sleep comes easy to those who stand up right
but shy from one who lives in grey light

the human mind is a pity to waste
yet it is what leads us to stray
reign at the expense of heart and soul
then is it not better to abandon a mind so foul

the heart may be weak, plagued by emotions that cause misjudgement and greed
but still the heart is what we all need
then which should we choose to prevail in us
the heart of a lion or the mind of a real ghost

it may be folly to blindly follow the soul
cos the betterment over logic seems unrealistically upright though
opinionated in emotions is what i follow
as ultimately i do love my soul

i know to judge not as i am not without weakness
but it is difficult as i feel so many emotions
so i do see and understand, but i am only human
please forgive me if i sound like a dramatic person
it is difficult to do what is right
as emotions have to be put aside
i do not feel less towards who may shun the fight
as their own conscience is tortured up inside

therefore i am nobody to say much
but that do what you must feel is right
whatever choice made, it must be difficult through and through
so pardon this nobody who is a fool
to be worthless and of no help as a tool
this fool can do nothing but only feel for you.

some song called remember me.

2004-11-12T23:22:00.000+08:00

Oh, I am the Unknown Soldier who died in World War Two.
I didn't want to fight, it was the only thing to do.
I was the victim of a world that went insane--Will you show me that I didn't die in vain.
Remember me, when the crosses are a burnin',
Remember me, when the racists come around.
Remember me, when the tides of peace are turnin',
Remember me and please don't let me down.
On the South Pacific Islands and the Iwo Jima sandsWe raised the flag of freedom over many distant landsAnd every time I killed a man my own heart felt the pain--Will you show me that I didn't die in vain.
Remember me, when the crosses are a burnin',
Remember me, when the racists come around.
Remember me, when the tides of peace are turnin',
Remember me and please don't let me down.
And I carried my old rifle to the European shoreAnd every friend that died made me die a little more.
Have pity on the man who put a bullet through my brainAnd show me that I didn't die in vain.
Remember me, when the crosses are a burnin',
Remember me, when the racists come around.
Remember me, when the tides of peace are turnin',
Remember me and please don't let me down.
When the Fascists started marching many millions had to pay;We saw them rise to power but we looked the other way.
It happened once before and it can happen once again--Will you show me that I didn't die in vain.
Remember me, when the crosses are a burnin',
Remember me, when the racists come around.
Remember me, when the tides of peace are turnin',
Remember me and please don't let me down.

back to my mudane life

2004-11-11T23:46:00.000+08:00

well well. despite my parents disapproval of camps while i am studyin, i still got to join the guys for 1 nite at jalan bathera yest. think my role was kinda like a stray dog. had alot of free time an was goin round disturbin others. only got to supervised one of ad's group at the crc area for awhile, cos she was in the water. den it started to rain. (mebe god was listenin to our prayers.) it was ok until kevin left. i mean it was so sad esp after ad told me how he left. like jus so suey for him. the consequences are jus so harsh. the horny monsty will be missed.
anyway we wen out for tea courtesy of manzur, who came with saliza an sham. the ride back was hell man. ad an sham were goin at it like cats an dogs an i got squashed at the side. finally i managed to squeeze out an sit on a stool, but manzur suddenly tak brake an i ended up sittin on raddie an lyin on eliza. (the poor things are somemore so skinny) an ya ironically manzur's company is i think called chubb securties... like wat security man. we all flew forward like dolls. tea was followed by sittin outside an crappin. these 2 guys aidil an ezad are so quirky, esp ezad who came up with games 4 us to play. dat guy is talented. can jiggy an make alot of sounds which sound really realistic. anyhows we ended up sleepin in the canteen an it was so cold an uncomfy i kept tosssin an think i slept for only bout 45 mins. den i was in stone mood for the rest of the day. donoe why oso.
thank god the teachers asked ad an i to go home. (halleluia...) ad looked terrible, cos she was there for 2 nites. plus she sounded like she swallowed sand. we all slept like fish on the bus(with open mouths) an i kept leanin on ad for fear i would squish the cake the lady on my left was holdin. i could not tahan an had a drink. abit guilty cos ad was fastin. now i oso got sore throat. kinda too much fogging. din catch much sleep at home as well dat nite, an my mum woke me up b4 i was ready to wake up. was again in monotone mood for the rest of today.
so yups its like back to skool tomoro an wat nought. so gona catch more shut eye.

homework an skool jus hit me like a train

2004-11-03T19:44:00.000+08:00

i had skool 2 day, an yesterday an yesterday an tomoro an tomoro. yup.... overnite, my week today has blossomes from a 2 day to a 5 day skool week. not to mention today was the start of a new unit. an boy i have now 2 readins an an essay with references due on fri, with another readin due tomoro. suddenly skool has turned from hippie mode(relak brudder), to wat is the numberplate of that sppedin car that jus hit me mode. haiz... but i still want an education. so i guess its hit the books now. but then the lazy monster is really bein a bitch. so excuse me while i go slay my lazy demon. which means to appease it with some zzz... an study later at breakneck speed.

crabs man

2004-11-02T09:51:00.000+08:00

wat did u noe. the skool called last nite at around 940, to inform me dat i will have class today. like wat the hell. damn lor.sien man. an i find out there is so many hocus pocus changes. (well it is stated that tmc has the right to make last min changes..), so screw lah.
anyhows i find out that the xtra lessons are jus 4 us to do our work an researc. LIKE HELLO... its the start only, an like i do actually have my own com in my room. im not like a cave woman u noe, (although i may smell like one sometimes). like it is a waste of time. not to mention beauty sleep.
an on the train today i saw 2 females (i wun call them ladies), who after eatin their sweets nonchalantely left the wrappers on the railing edge at the side of the corner seats. an wen i actually was like "wat the hell..." ad later told me they were niaming about like its ok to do that. like eat shit lah. one female was like sooo fat man. an her fren had a face large enough to make singapore consider its size for land reclamaition. not to mention she looked like a baboon's ass with her makeup. like please lor. their bags are like the cheapo stuff so i dun think paper wrappins is gona do any harm. i think my shortie bag oso more x than their whole outfit. stoopid ugly un-educated cheena fucks. go to hell lah.
k k mus relak... no point. mus actually now action find things to do in class. mebe i should have not postponed my degree studies. then mebe it would be more of a serious matter.
ciao now. gonna stone.

jus another day

2004-11-01T15:24:00.000+08:00

had lessons today. an it was alesson of fastest fingers first. i could not write fast enough and it was made worse as i had difficulty seein the transparency projection though i was at a ok distance. well i had to do alot of side glancing. not to mention i received my student ID card today.... WAH LAU eh! look like shit sia. like crap man. if i had known we were gettin a card i would have gotten a nicer photo.
anyway now i feel really bloated as ad an i went to suntec's subway to eat our linch. findin dat goddam place was just tirin. i mean we circled the damn fountain like twice lor. but the sandwhich was good.
wah piang! i'm havin phases of coughin fits which lead to me throwin up a little stuff. i even brought a plastic bag along today. kinda look like a weepin regurgitatin frog. doesnt help dat b4 i puke i would be violently coughin for a while like i have the bird flu or somethin.. (i tell u the stares i get...)
haiz.... its gettin hazy an a little downcast now. better take the opportunty to catch 40 winks. so cheerios....

this is to the souls...

2004-10-31T20:31:00.000+08:00

well well. its kinda all souls day, an my family along with my youngest aunt an my godparents family went to go see my grandma at bukit timah st. joseph's church. my grandma is a peranakan, and died wen my ma was 12, so i never got to see her. my mum only has 2 of her nonya tops an a sarong, an all i can base my perceptions upon are her very few pics, an hear about her love for animals an culinary skills. its sad to never get to meet someone u heard so much an want to meet. cos well i dun have a grandparent i am actually bonded with. our family is big an my dad's mum... well she is gone 2 but i never really got to understand her. so dat bein said, i do feel a distant fondness 4 my grandma. she would have been a smashin grandma i would be sure. but fate had other plans, an who is to contest it?

well the cemetery is not 2 big, but last year some graves were exumed. its sad as some of the tombs already lie forgotten an alone, and now even their last claim an testiment to have once lived is taken away. i mean lets face it, unless we singaporeans device aplan to live in space, it is only a matter of time all graves will be exumed. i took a little walk farther in with my aunt an once again was reminded of those forgotten. i mean under slabs of small crumbled rocks lay a person who once lived, breathed, loved an was loved. there were 7 unmarked graves in a row as well, which were only marked by 5 tiny thin old crumbled cross. remove the crosses an it would look like a normal stripe of land. i heard that those graves belonged to 7 slain priests. 7 people with life snuffed out an yet never known to others.

well it is funny how i never feel creeped out at that cemetery, seein dat anythin ghostly an supernatural would trigger the gen response in me. (which is to punch myself an black out.) mebe cos a i am inadvertably related to more than a couple of the deceased lain there (like i said, i have a big family). dats why its family an there is a certain safenes. i mean i would be furious if my grandma's grave is exumed , although like i said i noe it is inevitable. i might even pull a stunt of chainin myself to her headstone....

with loved oned gone an ppl u long to care 4 but never had the chance, we can only imagine an hope mebe by a stroke of luck, dat a dream will be able to bring us closer to dat certain somebody who is no longer reachable physically. hope.

well... lets gedit started in here

2004-10-30T22:27:00.000+08:00

oookay... i've got a blog now, courtesy of ad's persuasion to get one. it seems that lately she has been the one eggin me on to get it on with a couple of IT stuff. (well 4 an IT idiot like me, the only trouble-shootin i noe with the com is to kick it.)
well hoefully this blog will not serve somewhat as a testiment of proof of my mudane life. yes, i am a student(borin), and i dun have to hold a job(leech on parents back). so im keepin my fingers crossed that i will have euff shit to ponder about.
well bout skool, the place is like a polaar bear enclosure. the entire buildin is an ice box cos it is controlled by a main air-conditionin unit. (kinda makes u wonder if it was dat the place is so old they aint heard of thermostats den.)
well 4give me if i sound whiny. kinda am down with sumthin dat makes me wheeze like a chicken with a stroke.
so like this is a start an enuf of my whinin 4 now. b back soon